got a job, not struggling anymore
hey guys! i am doing good. it feels scary to say, since that feels like inviting something bad to happen - like you cannot feel ok, it has to balance itself out, if you say that you feel ok with yourself something shitty will happen... i'm not sure where i got it from.
i got a job!!!! it feels nice to have some stability in my life. i would not have gotten it without the support of my husband. he has believed in me every step of the way, had no doubt in me for a second. i had never thought i would ever experience this with anyone. i was a very sarcastic and bitter child / teen and felt like love was just a dumb marketing ploy by romcom writers. he was right (as always), it is a numbers game. do your best, send out those CV's, and you'll get it sooner or later.
i want to support anyone struggling with job search - i know it feels hopeless, i feel / felt that hopelessness too, but those feelings are not representative of reality. refuse to be doomed, do not listen to those senior developers who are saying AI will take your job, and you need to get another profession ASAP, resist the urge to drown in sadness! it is ok to feel sad. i had felt sad so much lately. but the thought that the world is hopeless, and there are no jobs, and all that people are is racist/sexist/nationalistic/etc, that is not the truth. that is the truth of some people's lives, but that is not the universal truth.
i think it takes courage to be optimistic. when i was a teen, i used to think of optimistic people are stupid and naive. i think i was just jealous.