i stopped talking to the friend of 10 years and i've never felt better
a selection of the ordinary messages from her include "don't you care about your friends anymore?" as a reply to my text where i shared that i had been excited to go to the bar with my husband. another normal interaction would be her sending me several long messages (the ones that take up the whole screen) as a response to me not wanting to meet up at her place (i am selfish, not willing to prioritize friends, i have a "heart of stone", etc).
the problem isn't that my former friend is a crazy person, the problem is that these interactions have made perfect sense in the context of our friendship. it is (or was, i hope) ridiculously easy to guilt-trip me, so these ridiculous dramatic conversations about relationships were initiated by me, as well. i would over-analyze the hidden meaning behind text messages (why did they put . at the end of the message? why aren't they replying even though i see they have been online? and so on). i would ask how my friend feels about me, if i am annoying, if i have upset them, instead of enjoying hanging out.
the reason for that was that i was a very easily offended person and surrounded myself with people who vibed with that.
this january, i physically felt that i cannot play these games anymore and that i want to enjoy time spent with friends, talk shit with them, joke, play computer games, discuss psychology, try out different fancy wine and cheese combinations... over-focusing on the minuscule interactions pales in comparison to all the other things we could do together.
so, long story short, i feel amazing. it's like realizing that i am not in the chains which had restrained me for years. the reason why i'm out is healthy relationships with the people around me & therapy.
how the relationship ends is not over an argument, but over realizing you had grown apart. and i would argue that it can be a beautiful thing.