why i like (over)working
today, i had a meeting at work (really, more of a co-programming session). there was something nice and calming about the pace of it - you troubleshoot things that do not work in a dimly lit room.
i think it is because i did not feel "othered". i did not feel defined by my nationality, or gender, or anything else - me and my colleague were focused on a task. i wonder if i like to work so much, because it helps me alleviate the feeling of not fitting in / being isolated.
it is nice to do a task and not get either closer to someone or further away from anyone, but simply drift in the space. there is something nice about having co-workers, people not demanding closeness from you and not asking much back. i like the quiet socialisation of the workplace, i like having someone to talk to without needing to show my "true" self, whatever that means.
i want to make content that makes people happy. i want to post videos maybe and talk, i want to write and inspire others to feel good. i think an issue that rings the closest to home is feeling isolated. i want to help others feel seen. i wonder how i could do that?... does my blog help?...
had been reading it's okay not to get long with everyone by dancing snail. it's really good, i warmly recommend it. i wonder if i could email the author? i wonder if i would get the response? the statement i made about drifting in the same place as other people was inspired by her writing.
